Do-it-Yourself Democrat Speech

Okay, so I was looking for something online that would prove to my Republican co-worker that people out there really are paying attention to the inconsistencies in Obama's speeches just like people are paying attention to the weirdness that is a Sarah Palin speech, and I stumbled across what you will find below. I promise you, I have not added any suggestions, subtracted any information or changed the DIY speech below in the least. And because it didn't come with a picture, please enjoy the image of Pixel above. Unfortunately, the cute part is aimed away from the camera.

"My fellow Americans, for too long now, (choose one)

Republicans
neo-cons
Norwegians
ferret-owners
_______________ have been trying to steal the

abortion rights
Social Security benefits
virginity
last beer in the 'fridge
_________________of hard-working, honest

senior citizens
single moms
chimneysweeps
eskimos
___________.


Working families
Organic farmers
The Cast of "Growing Pains"
____________________ will never reach the our shared goal of

universal health care
a living wage
unlimited trips to the salad bar
kickass guitar solos
_______________________as long as

President Bush
Senator McCain
Emmanuel Lewis
Carrot Top
_____________ and his cronies are still in charge.


Haliburton
Wal-Mart
Old Country Buffet
Wally's Auto Body
______________ is enjoying

record profits
tax breaks
delicious fudge
______________while

immigrants
the urban poor
middle class families
ninjas
________________ just struggle to make ends meet.


And the
wealthy land developers
SUV-drivers
1972 Miami Dolphins
____________________ are trying to ruin the environment too with their

McMansions
urban sprawl
dandruff
_____________.


There always seems to be money to give corporate welfare to

Big Oil
Big Drug Companies
Big Bird
Biggie Smalls
_______________,

but what about funding for

public schools
the fight against global warming
Billy Baldwin
________________________?


Its about time we start taxing

the wealthiest 1%
war profiteers
lemonade stands
______________so we have the money to finally eliminate

poverty
homelessness
athlete's foot
fire ants
___________.


To win, we'll need to struggle mightily against the awesome power of

the special interests
conservative talk radio
Total Rock 103.3 FM
the Hoover WindTunnel Vacuum
________________________,

but we're going to take our message of

hope
change
less talk, more rock
_______________ directly to the people.


With your help, we can win. Thank you and goodnight!"